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Joke of the Day

"My first middle-school football game was just like the time i lost my virginity. Bloody and dirty, but at least my dad came."

"As a child I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"My ex girlfriend had a really weird fetish... She would dress like herself and act like a fucking bitch all the time."

"Maybe Adele is singing about her cats. You don't know."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese."

"What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber in"

"What did Helen Keller's mom say would happen if she didn't stop fingering herself? She'd start talking dirty."

"the people who make lyric videos on youtube are the backbone of this nation"

"Q: What do they use frozen band-aids for? A: Cold cuts."

"Guys, we should stop making fun of fat people. They have too much on their plates already."