75327

Joke of the Day

"I just ran 4.1 Kms and realized you can write anything you want after that and no one will read it purple monkey dishwasher."

"Well why on Earth do you want to know?!?!! Do defensive time travellers exist?"

"a sort algorithm walks into a bar he orders anything"

"What's up with gay analysts? They anal-ize."

"Somewhere in Africa... a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts."

"[first date] Her: I like a guy who gets a little nasty Me: [puts hand sanitizer away] I used a gas station bathroom once"

"""Let's go with a clown, a penguin, and a guy that tells riddles."" - The guy who came up with batman's villains."

"I've never dated a South African girl who I've disliked. Every time I meet one, we click almost immediately."

"""Your place or mine?"" ""But, sir, I just met you. What makes you think I would be interested?"" ""Lady, let's be honest - why else would a 35-year-old woman be at carburettor exhibition?"""

"Helium walks into a bar... and the barman says 'sorry we don't serve noble gasses in here'. However Helium doesn't react."