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Joke of the Day

"Helium walks into a bar... and the barman says 'sorry we don't serve noble gasses in here'. However Helium doesn't react."

"What do you call the remnants of blown up cheese DeBrie!!"

"President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to ""learn what it means to work."" May I suggest the same for members of Congress?"

"For the low, low price of $14.95, I'll send you my instructional DVD, ""How to Succeed as a Con Man."""

"Q: How do astronomers organize a party? A: They planet Insert death threats below"

"Q: Why is it so easy to make plans with a gymnast? A: Because their schedules are so flexible."

"Being a fat guy at McDonald's is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business"

"So... the girl I lost my virginity to was retarded. I wanted my first time to be special."

"Why is being in the military like having sex? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel."

"It's a vagina, not a small business!"