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Joke of the Day

"[first date] Her: I like a guy who gets a little nasty Me: [puts hand sanitizer away] I used a gas station bathroom once"

"My sexual fetishes my sexual fetishes have been getting more and more perverse ever so slowly. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I had hit rock bottom."

"I heard Kim Jong-Un built a new private refrigerator He calls it a ""grocery store"". Wakka wakka!"

"I just read on the news that 10 Paralympics athletes have failed a drugs test They all tested positive for WD40"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run too if your name was ""Raaawwwrgggah""."

"99% of humanity Works on the principle of rocket science. It does not mean , we always aim for the sky; it means that we do not start work unless our tail is on fire."

"I added Paul Walker on Xbox, but he spends all his time on the dashboard."

"What does a half-dressed Sikh wear on his head? A subturban!"

"No thanks Kentucky Derby. If I wanted to see a defenseless animal get beat into submission I'd just call my boss."

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boo-bees !"