197086

Joke of the Day

"I've never dated a South African girl who I've disliked. Every time I meet one, we click almost immediately."

"Sometimes, distance maketh the heart less likely to be stabbed"

"""I can't log in."" -grandmas"

"Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time"

"I don't use my hands when I change my tampon. I just sing a jaunty tune and the Disney birds come in and begrudgingly do it for me."

"I don't want to tell an anal joke... But fuck it."

"Q: Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads? A: They want to measure their intelligence."

"I've Got a Surprise for you! says the excited girl friend. ""abort it"" he reply's."

"why do sandwich fillings look weird ? Cos they're in bread"

":O + :P = 69 Simple math"