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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone mentions rat poison part of me imagines a tiny rodent cover band playing 80s power ballads."

"sdkgnosdngosdg;klm'gtmq[rasmgladmgladmgladmngksdngksdnkgnadkfgnkasgnkpasngksangkasngkdsgksgnkdgnkdgk; I just hacked the CIA [redacted]"

"What does an illustrator say to his girlfriend on Valentine ? I'm font of you."

"Treat your women like your smartphone; touch them a lot."

"Why was the old Jewish woman afraid her chauffeur got her pregnant? Because they schlepped together."

"A kiss makes my whole day Anal makes my hole weak."

"Unfaithful Russian men come home to find all their stuff in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box on the sidewalk."

"My poor knowledge of Mexican food has always been my chilaquiles heel. You didn't even have to click through to get the punchline."

"I will take your secret to the grave. Unless I'm drunk and revealing it will make me popular."

"It was just yesterday where it was a requirement to say grace before every meal... Now the only importance before a meal is making sure you get glamour shot for instagram."