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Joke of the Day
"Well why on Earth do you want to know?!?!! Do defensive time travellers exist?"
Next Joke
"Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Daisies are brown, I'm a terrible gardener."
"Easter Weekend Wife: Honey, what's for Easter? Hubby: Same plan as Jesus. Disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday."
"I want to put hot dogs on my fingers so I have extra long, floppy, hot dog fingers."
"Now boarding... Two vultures board an airplane each is carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, ""I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."""
"Why do prescription pills always say ""by mouth?"" Where else would people put th... Ooooooh."
"[on a date] *don't let him know you're a bird* Him: I'll drive us. I just had my car cleaned and detailed. Me: *poops all over windshield*"
"I met a girl that told me, ""Make me laugh and I'm yours"". So I pulled down my pants. Apparently, she didn't want to laugh that hard. :("
"Friends and family are like butt cheeks... Shit seperates them but, they always come back together in the end."
"Judge: Your charge is burning down your neighbors house Me: Your Honor they hung baskets of plastic flowers on their porch! J: Not Guilty!"