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Joke of the Day

"Ahhh.......I love the sounds of autumn; that old familiar crunch of Halloween candy wrappers on the floor."

"What does Pluto have up on Palestine? At least Pluto exists"

"Why was everyone scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender"

"Talking to my friend about how useless I am with ladies... Me: ""I even had to stand on a damn ladder yesterday just to kiss my date goodnight..."" Him: ""Wow, was she tall?"" ""No, she hung herself."""

"I just quit my job, I couldn't work for my boss after what he said to me He told me that I was fired"

"I believe that old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets covering their legs are actually retired mermaids."

"your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath."

"What's worse than nine eleven? 311"

"Why did barbie never get pregnant? Because ken came in a different box"

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only one retarded thing came out of her vagina."