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Joke of the Day

"I believe that old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets covering their legs are actually retired mermaids."

"Jokes that Eddie Murphy could have done on SNL40. Here is mine. I did comedy for the fame, money and sex with white women. The 80's was so long ago. Good night folks."

"Haiku of the week ""James, you have Tourette's."" ""I'm afraid there is no cure."" ""Fuck! Shit! Cunt!"" said James."

"What does an Apple Watch do when it gets hungry? It goes back four seconds."

"Hey kids! Make your voice heard this election day by hiding your parents identification! (Not applicable in some states)"

"TIFU by accidentally playing music off of my neighbors speakers. Whoops, wrong sub."

"What's the difference between abortion and terrorism? Terrorism is funded by the US government!"

"I was born with abnormally large arms.... ...the doctor said I was very humerus"

"What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer? One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer."

"What do you call a politician with their head up their ass? David Cameron."