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Joke of the Day

"Germany really put a whoopin on Brazil today... But it's still not as bad as when they beat Israel 6,000,000-0"

"Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes? A: Slow clowns."

"Leave Apple alone! All they wanted to do was jack off."

"What's Sean Connery's favorite sport and when does he play it? Tennish"

"There are two types of people in this world. And I hate them."

"Mantra at the gym: When the zombies come, cardio will matter."

"How do you comeback 'I know you are but what am I?"" A hypocrite"

"What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife? He was thrown out at home. *alternate response* - His two balls got a strike."

"I just found out that the reptile I had sex with last night had an STD Now I have a dino-sore"

"I know I'm getting old... the other day I walked past a cemetery and two guys attacked me with shovels."