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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes? A: Slow clowns."

"Celine Dion walks into a bar and the bar tender says ""Why the long face?"" To which she replies ""My husband and brother just died."""

"There is no snooze button on a dog that wants to go out for a piss."

"My girlfriend said she was finishing with me because of my obssession with flowers. I said ""Where's all this stemming from, petal?"""

"I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos. I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos."

"Mom: Time to wake updog. Son: *groggily* What's updog? Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u? Dad (from hallway): OWNED"

"What do you call a chicken that can play tennis? A Henman."

"I was just diagnosed with colorblindness... I was so surprised, it just came out of the green!"

"Did you know your amazing human body actually drink lava!?! Only once though....."

"Why do black people have white palms? Everyone has a little good in them."