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Joke of the Day

"I'm just waiting for the right person to come along and mistake my crippling pessimism for an attractive sense of humor."

"The most I've ever paid for sex.., Is through marriage"

"Dear McDonald's, Thank you for not selling hot dogs. I don't think I could order a McWiener with a straight face."

"What did the Jewish pedophile ask the kids? ""You kids wanna buy some candy?"""

"what do you call 4 mexicans in a boat with a whole in it? Quattro cinco"

"Why is Microsoft coming out with a windows 10 instead of 9? Because 7 8 9"

"If her weight ends in ounces she's too young for you bro"

"Dark and or Offensive :] I don't know where I stand on abortion. I like killing babies, but I don't like giving women a choice."

"What is the worst joke you have ever Heard? I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."

"[at a bar] *creepy dude is hitting on me* Me: you wanna get outta here? Him: yeah Me: cool. I would love it if you left."