74041

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Mime Murders? It was an unspeakable horror"

"Hey @realDonaldTrump, try pressing the caps lock key... @realDonaldTrump: O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!"

"Why didn't the lipid ask for water He wasn't carbohydrated"

"What do you call a lazy baker? A loafer..."

"Got a message from the anti virus app on my phone telling me Twitter was safe. Clearly, the app isn't reading your tweets or looking at pics"

"What did one pedophile say to the other? I'll give you two fives for a ten."

"I walked in on my wife singing the other day. Surprised, I said ""Oh, I thought you were the radio."" Flattered, she asked ""Did you come to listen?"" ""No,"" I replied, ""I came to turn it off."""

"Why do Native Americans hate snow? It's white and it's all over their land."

"If you can't tell the difference between a ladel and a spoon Then you're fat."

"What tasty food would be distusting if eaten over rice?"