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Joke of the Day
"You're so ugly that when they went looking for flight MH370 black box they found your vagina"
Next Joke
"Give them a Cheesecake Factory gift card this holiday season so they know you ""grocery store checkout line"" love them"
"Cop: ""Sir, what's in the bottle next to you? Me: ""It's water"" Cop: ""Sir, this is wine"" Me: ""What? Jesus! He did it again!"""
"HELP I had a nightmare that I spent endless hours online seeking approval from complete strangers"
"[leaving a party] GF (holding 2 identical jackets): which one is yours ME: whichever one has a pancake in the pocket"
"I broke up with my gym We just weren't working out."
"What did the russian say before Putin penetrated his asshole? *russian accent* Put it in Putin!"
"I have a hotmail email account. But don't worry, I use it ironically."
"It's always a shame when people die so young... there's just so many things they'll never get to Chekov their bucket list."
"At this point I feel like MTV is just trying to scare old people."