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Joke of the Day

"Cop: ""Sir, what's in the bottle next to you? Me: ""It's water"" Cop: ""Sir, this is wine"" Me: ""What? Jesus! He did it again!"""

"What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chickpea? I've never paid 50 bucks to have a garbanzo on my face."

"whats the difference between my driveway and 14 year old daughter? ... I pull out of my driveway"

"The Puzzle - I beat a record. - Oh , what? - I managed to do a puzzle in 15 days on which he had written "" from 3 to 5 years."""

"There are two kinds of people in this world Those who finish what they started and"

"AMA Request: Kim Davis. I would like to hear her answer this question, for she seems uniquely qualified to do so: If a man and woman from Kentucky get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?"

"I went to a gay bar specifically for dyslexic people... ...this really hot guy projectile vomited at me, so I ducked his sick."

"A bodybuilder gets lost in the woods... And dies of starvation when he can't find his whey."

"I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long. "

"I realized why the media isn't taking my presidential campaign seriously. Occasionally, I'll slip up and accidentally tell the truth."