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Joke of the Day

"I really like white dwarf stars... ...My favorite is Peter Dinklage."

"A man got hit in the head with a drink... It's okay, though; it was a soft drink."

"The police station installed ""Safe Spots"" for Craigslist sales... Which is great because I always met in a park under a tree but it always seemed so shady."

"FLIGHT ATTENDANT: would you like me to throw that away for you? RACCOON: *clutching banana peel* this is my carry on thank you very much"

"In honor of the Vikings/Packers game on Saturday... How can you tell if a Packers fan is mad at you? They grit their tooth at you."

"*wife puts down dinner plate* *single pea rolls off plate* Me: oh no we have an esca-pea Wife: Me: I don't care I think it's still funny"

"Q: Where can you find an ocean without any water? A: On a map!"

"Beethoven walks into a bar... The bartender tells him, ""we don't serve any E-minors here."" Beethoven says ""what?"""

"I hate it when I make a typo in my post title and I can't chnage it."

"Psst. Don't refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your 'team of writers'."