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Joke of the Day

"Pizza burnt the inside of my mouth and I don't understand why the things I love most keep hurting me"

"What do you call a truck with only five Mexican passengers? Under capacity"

"I met the donkey from Numbers 22... He was a pretty cool guy... What? Did you expect him to be an ass?"

"I'm doing it doggy style today. Lying on the couch not doing a damn thing. I will bark if you knock on the door."

"I got a Jury Summons today, I'm sending them my Twitter profile to get out of it. Fingers crossed."

"eating cereal in the shower isn't saving me as much time as i thought."

"I met an elderly at the park and asked him what was going on? He smiled and told me ""I have Parkinson"""

"Don't be nervous if someone is driving ahead of you- the world is round, just think that you're driving first!"

"I was going to upload a gay joke on this sub. But fuck it."

"A Sadist and a Masochist are walking down the street. The Masochist says, ""Hit me."" The Sadist says, ""No."""