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Joke of the Day
"The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick... It's two chicks fighting over a pair of shoes."
Next Joke
"Just went sledding for the first time I liked it until I got on the sled. It was all down hill from there."
"'He looks just like you' is my favorite way to tell someone that their baby is ugly."
"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick"""
"What is the opposite of Polygamy? > What is the opposite of Polygamy? Monotony"
"Grandpa, why did you have so many kids? ""Hey anon, do you want to know why your grandmother and I had so many children?"" ""Why's that, Grandpa?"" ""No TV."""
"Just laid an egg. Very worried"
"NFL Players + Fireworks ="
"When my goldfish starts acting like a jerk I remind him that his bowl is microwave-safe"
"(Halloween Party) Friend: What's your costume? Me: I'm dressed as ""A total disappointment"" Friend: But you always wear that Me: Yeah."