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Joke of the Day

"Me at 20: I'm smarter than everyone in the world Me at 28: I am so smart for going to the cheaper gas station"

"[drive-thru at 2am] Whaazzuupp!? Lemme gets 12 tacos, 6 burritos, and a Diet Coke. Booyah! Neighbor's mailbox: ..."

"Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines."

"[doctor walks in] there's no easy way to say this. you have [looks at clipboard] cat...cat erects? cat or racks? Sorry. I'm new."

"The ""Slow Children Playing"" signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?"

"I don't understand all of this Chris Brown hype. After all his music isn't even that good, his only decent hit was Rihanna."

"The patient was about to die ""Well,"" said the doctor, ""He can wait."""

"Best Pokemon go pickup line... I'll let you see my Pokemon if I can have a pikachu. This is my first post. Please be kind. :)"

"Muhammad The police would be upon him"

"Did you listen to that song by the Muslim artist? It was like, the bomb!"