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Joke of the Day

"Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines."

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"I like my coffee like I like my women... without a penis."
"The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old So you have to be 21 years old to drink, and 8 to summon the devil"
"What do you do if your partner starts smoking? Slow down. Use lube."
"The world isn't going to end tomorrow... It's not on my calendar."
"Runs away from you... Looks back to laugh at you... Runs into pole."
"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the bulb has to be large enough."
"Hello, Room service? Yes, in order to make my fort structurally sound I'm gonna need 9 more pillows brought to room 355 Bring ice cream too"
"'I Now Pronounce You Man and WiFi'"
"a man walked into a bar I thought he would have seen it."