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Joke of the Day

"[doctor walks in] there's no easy way to say this. you have [looks at clipboard] cat...cat erects? cat or racks? Sorry. I'm new."

"What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold? A bus driver knows the stops and a cold stops the nose."

"What's the worst part about Tupac's new sitcom? The Holocaust. (pun, hologram deal)"

"Today is Steve Irwin day... Good ol' Steve, he even died with animals in his heart."

"Why did Mary Poppins break both her legs? because she had Supercalifrajilistic Osteoporosis"

"What's a duck's favorite drug ? Quack"

"Why did the cynic fall asleep? Because he had a bed day."

"What do you do to dead chemists? You barium."

"I didn't realize how many of the songs on my iPod are about sex and drugs until I hit ""shuffle"" in a car with a 12-year-old in it."

"Don't let anyone's hate, negativity, ignorance or drama stop you from being the asshole you strive to be."