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Joke of the Day

"After a night of heavy drinking' there's one thing I can't stand... and that's up."

"I hate when someone steals my idea before I've had it."

"My Girlfriend Told Me I Need To Get In Shape..... I told her ""I am in shape! Round is a shape!"""

"CAT VAMPIRE: let me in! ME: ok CAT VAMPIRE: you fool! now I will suck your bl- ME: *closes door* CAT VAMPIRE: ... CAT VAMPIRE: let me out"

"What's the difference between a Youtuber and a hooker? Both are getting fucked, but the hooker's still getting paid."

"My friend just graduated from her ballet course in university. She got a (2:2)"

"If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot..."

"I read that 30% of the internet is pornography and that really makes me disappointed in humanity... ...70% of the internet is being completely wasted."

"How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!"

"What would Caitlyn Jenner need to do if she changed her mind about being a woman? She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out? Bruce's up for the evening."