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Joke of the Day

"After a night of heavy drinking' there's one thing I can't stand... and that's up."

"I'm hoping the nuclear strike button & the trap-door for hecklers button on Trump's desk are completely different colours."

"Did you hear the one about Derrida? I'll tell you later."

"Sorry, but Apple making driverless cars isn't breaking news. It's been going on ever since they introduced the iPhone."

"Wanna know my New Year's Resolution? 4K, baby."

"The only thing keeping me from driving off this bridge is the insurance rate increase if I survive."

"What's a narcissist's favorite color? Reflection"

"I'm participating in a 0.25K run to raise awareness for people with attention deficit disorder."

"cop: [making list of animals that escaped] zookeeper: ""the tigers should be your top priority"" cop: [scribbling out ducks] ""obviously"""

"A baby seal walks into a club. please dont hate me"