73195

Joke of the Day

"Never ask a shepherd how many sheep he owns, I don't think he'd know, he probably falls asleep every time he takes inventory."

"Why couldn't the gay guy cross the road? He had to go straight."

"If someone broke up with me (doubtful) I would say 'Ok weird eyes' Even if their eyes weren't weird id say it. Because they'd always wonder"

"Me: let's go vegetarian Husband: can we still eat eggs M: of course H: fish? M: obviously H: bacon on special occas- M: we'd be crazy not to"

"How do you call Niggeria leaving EU? blackout"

"I walk into my dad's office and I'm like ""sup motherfucker"" and he's all ""I'm on a conference call"" and I'm like ""sorry, sup motherfuckers"""

"When you are trying to get out of the aisle at the movies, and you have to pass by people, do you give them the nut or the butt?"

"With all this anti-drug propaganda going around, how do you know a D.A.R.E. representative is lying? His lips are moving."

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE"

"Cash or credit? Did you just assume my tender??"