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Joke of the Day

"With all this anti-drug propaganda going around, how do you know a D.A.R.E. representative is lying? His lips are moving."

"Don't ever debate with an absurdist... because you will always chair apple man with hands for eyes."

"How to handle a one night stand the next morning 1. Put on Titanic 2. He's gone, that's it"

"I just want the confidence of my grandpa in church taking a call from the pharmacy on speaker phone to confirm his Viagra prescription."

"Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?"

"They played The Shins while I was in Whole Foods today and I leveled up in Caucasian."

"How come Abraham Lincoln never went to jail? Because he was in a cent"

"I guess George Lucas is not a Scrabble fan. It's R1 D2."

"Did you hear there was a sequel to The Boy in the Striped Pajamas where he visits Charlie in his chocolate factory? It's called the Gas Elevator (I know I'm going to hell for this)"

"Welcome to Wendy's, Where our credit card numbers are always fresh! Never frozen."