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Joke of the Day

"If your uncle Jack was stuck on a roof... Would you help your uncle Jack off?"

"My mum was killed by cancer... Wait no, my dad was a Sagittarius."

"How many dead hookers do you need to change a light bulb? Dunno. Seven's not the answer though, my basement is still dark"

"What do you call an aardvark that's just lost a fight? A vark!"

"I don't know why they are called smart phones, I dropped mine in the toilet and it didn't even try to get out."

"Is it just me, or does hamstring sound delicious?"

"Don't be irreplaceable - if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted."

"What did the Nuclear Engineer get for his birthday? Yellow Cake http://imgur.com/gallery/FGFV1Em/new"

"Teacher: What's the longest word in the English language ? Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters"

"TIFU by giving my coworker my #23 I got his Togos #24. I hate avoc... whoops, wrong sub"