185788

Joke of the Day

"My mum was killed by cancer... Wait no, my dad was a Sagittarius."

"Have you guys seen the new Ray Rice's jersey It's a wife beater"

"My dad got fired for having sex with one of his patients the other day. Which is a shame because he was a really good vet."

"I really like ethnic foods, but the one type of asian cuisine I haven't had is North Korean food. Then again, neither have citizens of North Korea."

"Out of all the lies I've ever told, ""Just kidding"" is my favourite."

"I'm a dirty bird. *shits on your windshield*"

"How come Noah didn't just slap those two mosquitoes?"

"The shoulder belt retractor suddenly locked up this morning and now everyone in my car pool knows my safe word."

"I used to copy Mitch Hedberg jokes and post them here. I still do, but I used to too..."

"I wish they made bar-stools with seat belts and dual side airbags."