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Joke of the Day

"When are people going to realize that ""the bigger the shoe size, the bigger the penis"" ... ... is a total phallicy?"

"Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name."

"Someone asked me to make a joke about cancer... I said, ""Sorry I can't sir."""

"What do you get when you cross a zebra with a flamingo? Some weeeeeeeird shit, man."

"What do you call it when you open a soda for a buddy who is in outer space? An astrofizzassist."

"You know that schizophrenic hobo that has nonsensical conversations with himself? That's Twitter in real life."

"Why shouldn't you have coffee while on the clock? Because that would be ""grounds"" for termination!"

"What did the baby eating cannibals say in the hospital to the expectant mothers? Fetus!!!"

"What did the black guy get on his SATs? Barbecue Sauce"

"Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte has to eat enough to feed a family of 4 every day. He has to! I just do it because I feel like it."