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Joke of the Day
"Don't be irreplaceable - if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted."
Next Joke
"Despite being a longtime single dude, I just *know* that legions of ladies want my body. I've got the figure of a Maxim cover girl."
"Friend: what has teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? Friend: my zipper Me: so what you are saying is your dick turns green when you get a boner?"
"""You, the horse you rode in on AND the horses mother!"" ""What about the horses father?"" ""I already mentioned YOU once!"""
"Proof that road construction workers are lazy They're always just [milling](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavement_milling) about!"
"Me: I want to kiss you everywhere! Her: You mean New York, Paris & London? Me: Um, ya that's what I meant."
"My Grandma's church was odd in that they worshipped paintings. Very weird. Every week they would stand up and sing ""How Great Thou Art"""
"People are mad at Mayweather but I think he was just confused. He thought he was supposed to hug his opponent and hit his wife."
"What did the carpenter say to the girl he loved? Oh sweetheart, you are the eye of my maple...."
"I was gonna vote for trump . . . but now i'm kinda on the Pence about it."