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Joke of the Day

"For people who say bernie sanders and is socialist ideals is going to revive the red scare... Actually we're blue... (Go bernie!)"

"Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B."

"I'm Only Here For The Free Food"

"Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin... It might taste the same but that shit just ain't right."

"So Hydrogen finally admitted to Sodium that she had been bonding with Oxygen Sodium reacted violently."

"You haven't built just a wall around you; you've constructed a bomb shelter inside a nuclear bunker set into the side of a mountain."

"What's the difference between the English rugby team and a teabag? A teabag stays in the cup longer! (im so sorry ;-;)"

"Scientists analysed sweat samples of 100 regular KFC visitors. 11 secrete herbs and spices"

"I'm a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am."

"How many gay dudes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A whole buttload of them."