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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the English rugby team and a teabag? A teabag stays in the cup longer! (im so sorry ;-;)"

"My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more like her Ex. So I dumped her."

"My sister bet me $100 I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti You should have seen her face when I drove pasta."

"I may be 26, but I have the body of a 16 year old. Her parents are very upset. As are the police."

"I'm so patriotic; I piss red, white, and blue. My doctor told me it was pancreatic cancer. I told him to shut his commie mouth!"

"What do you call a disabled nun? Virgin mobile"

"Why Do Elephants Have Big Ears? Because Noddy won't pay the ransom!"

"Life is what happens when you're busy choosing a filter for what already happened in life."

"Stranger:""Your tag is sticking out"" Me:""Does it say size 4?"" Stranger:""Yes it does"" Then don't touch it bitch,it's supposed to stick out"

"The problem with telling lawyer jokes is Lawyers don't think they're funny, and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes."