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Joke of the Day

"*Jesus multiplies a loaf of bread for the masses* From the back: Actually I'm gluten free now. Jesus: ughhh, someone get me a fish"

"What the sound of a rainbow laughing? Hue hue hue hue"

"What kind of shoes do pedophiles like? White Vans"

"Me: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: I don't drink. Me: Then can I just give you $7.50 to talk with me for a few minutes?"

"What do you call a basement full of SJW's? A whine cellar."

"My wife moans at me to say I did' instead of I done' because it's not proper grammar. Easier said than did."

"Heard the one about the corduroy pillowcase? It's making headlines."

"A friend if mine asked me what will I do tomorrow... I told him I have to go on HIV test and then he replied, Oh shit... I am sure you can do it... stay positive!"

"Did you hear about the anxious gynaecologist? ...He got in a flap."

"My 4 year old and I are having an argument. I'm telling him that he is making me late for work and he's telling me that he is Batman."