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Joke of the Day

"Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin... It might taste the same but that shit just ain't right."

"What is the best part of a blowjob? The 15 minutes of silence."

"What do you call a Jewish beer? A Hebrew"

"There's a good chance Dr. Phil has jerked off to the Domino's Pizza Tracker."

"I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my dick So my wife can blow all the money she wants"

"Sex toy or Dog toy? What do you think?! http://www.cinderellastyle.com/can-you-tell-if-its-a-sex-toy-or-a-dog-toy-game-show/"

"When I was younger I used to masturbate by having sex with a jar of peanut butter... But growing up and looking back I realize I was just fucking nuts."

"Friend: Do I need to repeat myself? Me: No. I might not be able to ignore you a second time"

"Joining Twitter instead of the circus was a pretty good move considering I'm a freak but not that talented"

"A reddit admin awoke to the sound of a beeping alarm clock but pressed the snoo's button and went back to sleep"