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Joke of the Day

"You haven't built just a wall around you; you've constructed a bomb shelter inside a nuclear bunker set into the side of a mountain."

"He: ""I'll catch a grenade for you."" She: ""Prove it."" He: *Plays Call of Duty*"

"A dad walks into his son's room... A dad walks into his son's room and says: ""Son, how many times have I told you... If you keep masturbating, you'll go blind."" The son responds: ""Dad! I'm over here."""

"8th Harry Potter book confirmed, you'll never believe who wrote it... J.K."

"Whats the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeves"

"I be a quantum pirate. I'll make ye walk the planck."

"What's the difference between an Elephant and a post box? Well, if you don't know I'm definitely not asking you to mail this letter for me."

"A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar The bartender says ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"Why do Scottish men have long skinny dicks? Because they're tight fisted wankers."

"Getting a red heart instead of a yellow star makes me feel like things are moving a little too fast between us."