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Joke of the Day
"Why are there so many Jews? It's the only race that's well accounted for."
Next Joke
"A bee is willing to end it's own life just to cause you a tiny amount of pain. I can relate to that level of pettiness."
"As a married man, how excited I was that I almost has a successful Steak & BJ day... The steak was delicious, but I didn't get two of my ribs removed in time."
"How many photos of Kanye West do you suppose Kanye West has on his phone? More than 1,000?"
"What does Donald Trump tell Barack Obama supporters? Orange Is The New Black"
"I wish there was a way to keep in touch with dogs I meet outside of grocery stores."
"I shouted ""the blue Subaru with an Obama sticker left its lights on!"" at Mt. Bachelor and had the *entire* hill to myself for an hour"
"""Let there be one more blade!""-Gillette marketing concepts."
"A Mosquito landed on my wife's face... Easiest decision of my life."
"Wish I wasn't raising my kids in an era where mediocrity was celebrated."