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Joke of the Day

"So, when I wear my phone clipped to my belt & a fanny pack, I'm a douche.nnBatman does it & it's a bad-ass utility belt. nnnDouble standard."

"[interrogation] ""What do you do for a living?"" ""Kidnapper."" ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] ""I'm a pig rapper. I make farmyard hiphop."""

"A Hispanic, African-American, Jewish, Native American, and Asian man were walking down the street. They were part of a parade that celebrated racial equality."

"My parents asked me if I wanted to watch Dumb and Dumber with them tonight.. When I went downstairs the debate was on."

"This is a bit cruel, but one of my favorites: What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The Wheelchair."

"Why don't cows smoke weed? The steaks would just be too high."

"Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck!"

"Awkward That awkward when you read ""moment"" even though it wasn't there."

"Two blondes walk into a bar The first one says ""Don't worry, I didn't see it either""."

"Dear Johnson & Johnson: Ejacu-lotion Please DM me for my address to send royalties checks."