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Joke of the Day

"My mother-in-law's text alert is an entire song. Starting to think my father-in-law's rage isn't really from Vietnam."

"Since the pharmacy keeps making it harder to buy decongestants, I've just started making them at home from crystal meth."

"What is Kim Jong Un's favourite video game? Duke Nukem."

"What's Rectangle, red and bad for your teeth? A Brick!"

"When someone tells me they're sick I try to make them feel better with a story about my own sickness that was much worse and many years ago."

"What is the difference between a paycheck and a cock? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!"

"How do you get a hippie pregnant? Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest."

"Why did the octopus become an electrician? Because many hands make light work."

"I hate girls who insert the phrase ""my boyfriend"" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend."

"I have an amazing gardener who's both vision impaired and dyslexic. His work is Mind BLowing"