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Joke of the Day

"I got shoes from a drug dealer once... I don't know what it was laced with but I was tripping all day!!"

"Ugh this morning this cop was all ""what's with the fake mustache"" & ""you can't throw turtle shells out of your vehicle"" & ""who's Yoshi"""

"I just got accused of ""plagiarism"" Their words not mine!"

"*walking into Home Depot for 2nd time today* Back again? Forget something? -Um, you remember if I brought a kid in here with me last time?"

"Why isn't the Vice President running for the Democratic Nomination this year? He's Biden his time."

"Why wasn't the pediatrician impressed with the new year's eve Times Square ball drop? Because he has seen plenty of balls drop. (Sorry)"

"Donald Trump's chief speechwriter is a random deck from Cards Against Humanity."

"Just seen a Disney trailer. I've just seen a Disney trailer It said, ""A new movie from the people that brought you Up."" Flipping Heck! I never knew Mum and Dad made films."

"Did you know there is a species of deer that can jump higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house cannot jump."

"LPT: Always make sure to post to the correct subreddit. It is an embarrassing mistake and most people will think you're an idiot."