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Joke of the Day

"I just got accused of ""plagiarism"" Their words not mine!"

"A man was stabbed in the stomach in an alley... he was gonna punch him back, but he didn't have the guts."

"You know, gas prices really aren't that bad when you consider that you're essentially buying dinosaurs in liquid form."

"What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor? My erection."

"I used to wait for hrs with my finger on the record button of a boom box after requesting a song on the radio. I'm familiar with commitment."

"What do you get if you bake weed into apple pastry? A high turnover."

"Toast at a Wedding ""May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live."" That's an Irish toast. ""Cinnamon, eggs, bread, and maple syrup."" That's a French toast."

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One or two? ....One? ...or two?"

"So Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby and Bill Nye all walk into a bar... They all finish their drinks and Nye says to the lady behind the bar I'll cover the tab these two will give you their tips."

"what's the difference between a cross-eyed hunter and a constipated owl? the hunter shoots but can't hit..."