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Joke of the Day

"*walking into Home Depot for 2nd time today* Back again? Forget something? -Um, you remember if I brought a kid in here with me last time?"

"Mommy, why am I getting my Christmas presents in august? ""Because it's cheaper than chemo"""

"What's long, black, and smelly? The unemployment line"

"Fun Prank: put a live turtle and a tiny pair of nunchucks in your toilet before your guests arrive"

"Man at the bar... ""...Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy! Woman responds: ""No, I'm Finnish. Finnished with this conversation!"""""

"What's the difference between GOP voters and polar bears? Polar bears gather around the ice hole."

"What's the difference between rubber balls and steel balls? Caitlyn Jenner doesn't like to steel balls before she comes"

"General Tso's Curse: You have every intention of trying something new, but you just can't order anything else."

"Noticed something between my grandma's boobs today. Her belly button."

"What sex position produces the ugliest offspring? I don't know go ask your mom."