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Joke of the Day

"LPT: Always make sure to post to the correct subreddit. It is an embarrassing mistake and most people will think you're an idiot."

"I went to a seafood disco last week I ended up pulling a mussel."

"What is the size of women in Italy? Itali-cized."

"Maybe we laugh when others get hurt because it helps us cope with mortality but probably we're just dicks."

"What's the one public place that most people still support the separation of Colors and Whites? The laundromat."

"Just Got The New Note 7 I guess you could say its pretty lit."

"What is the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil? I've never had a Lentil on my chest."

"[In this tweet spoons fall in love harder than anyone] ""My darling I am a spoon for you, you fill my world with frogs"" [and frogs are joy]"

"me: I'm tired Medieval Physician: Ok I'm gonna cut you open to drain your blood me: Maybe I could rest MP: haha no I'm cutting your veins"

"I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how's your day going?"