72563

Joke of the Day

"Sorry I used your baby's bald head as a lipstick blotter."

"MOM: Story time ME: Yay! MOM: it's called ""The Little Engine that Could, but doesn't cuz he's a little shit that won't move out"" ME: mom?"

"Teen girl in mirror ""I look like death!"" [Meanwhile in Hell] Death scoffs & flips his hair ""Yeah, as if"""

"I'm enthralled by curling. No, not enthralled. What's the word for interested in something, but not enough to look it up on Wikipedia? That."

"Why do monks wear the same clothes every day? Because old habits die hard."

"Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself."

"There are two ways of arguing with a woman And neither one works."

"What is the most ironic thing a Jew can say? I want to be cremated."

"Did you hear about the Italian husband who was talking during his sleep? He ended up giving his wife a black eye"

"Here, have my marionette set. ""Cool. How much for it?"" Just take it ""For free? What's the catch?"" No strings attached. ""You son of a bit.."""