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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between sex and US Presidental elections? In sex,the decision to choose the cunt or the asshole is a pleasure"

"Oscars night, Leonardo DiCaprio walks to the stage... Steve Harvey follows suit..."

"Why was the neighbor mad at the Mars rover speeding around her neighborhood? Because Curiosity killed her cat"

"Girl, you don't even know how crazy I am about you.... I'm thinking about digging my mom up so she can meet you."

"A lot of kids these days don't even want to be sailors... ...but it's just so easy to give in to ""pier"" pressure."

"Have you heard the one about the jump rope never mind, just skip it."

"I'd give my wife my coat if she's cold but I'll take it back if I become cold and maybe she'll be prepared next time we go out."

"I told my grandmother to act her age.... then she died."

"Why do woman have legs? So their feet don't smell like pussy."

"People change. Except for that homeless guy down the street. Pretty sure he's had the same clothes on since the 90's."