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Joke of the Day

"With a name like ""Earl"", I'm more afraid this hurricane will get drunk and beat a pregnant woman, than I am that it will cause flooding."

"Guys I finally came up with a name for our character: Spongebob ""Perfect!"" Thanks ""What's his last name?"" Oh, uh- *looks at pic* Squarepants"

"There are two types of friends: Those that keep your car clean And Julian FUCKING JULIAN"

"Why don't fairies live under toadstools? Because there's not mushroom!"

"What do you call a Jamaican that wears glasses? Rasta-four-eyes!"

"Apparently telling the principal that ""it's not cheating, it's cooperative learning"" was the wrong thing to say."

"Is my ambition to be a plumber just a pipe dream?"

"The Swedish word gratrunka means crying while masturbating. It's a real tear jerker"

"My wife divorced me because I'm still making april fools pranks. April fools!"

"It turns out there IS a natural birth control that's 100% effective. You have to more than just careful with it... Fact is, you have to be totally anal."