92949

Joke of the Day

"It turns out there IS a natural birth control that's 100% effective. You have to more than just careful with it... Fact is, you have to be totally anal."

"My abs are like tan(pi/2) They're undefined."

"How old do kids have to be when you can start saying ""Fuck you."" to their faces instead of behind their backs?"

"Why did the man wear a frog for a condom? So he was ribbit for her pleasure."

"CW: I think you're two-faced Me: Why don't you say that to my face CW: I just did! Me: No. My other face."

"*carries 11 bags of groceries and like a whole mattress on one arm and my phone in my free hand*"

"Hard tacos are just soft tacos from the street."

"I think I'll just leave my turn signal on from age 60 onward."

"What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? I'm bigger than you!"

"What do you call a math class full of SJW's? Triggernometry."