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Joke of the Day

"Got a secondhand robot. Practically good as new! Just a few nicks and scratches, and a tendency to murder."

"Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra? He stood on the roof and conducted lightning."

"What's black and doesn't work? Half of London"

"How is a meditating monk and a fiber-optic cable similar? Total internal reflection."

"Wanna know who I Netflix and Chilled with?"

"My friend shaved her eyebrows and has been drawing them on. Lately, she's been drawing them too high. When I told her, she looked surprised."

"The only thing I know about football is that Edgar Allen Poe is the coach of the Ravens."

"The scariest sound is an unknown crash followed by my 9 year old yelling ""It's OK! There's nothing wrong! You don't need to come up here"""

"The secret cocaine ring in my school still hasnt been busted by the police It's slipping right under everyone's noses!"

"How's your day been? Grape!"