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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra? He stood on the roof and conducted lightning."

"What do you do when a cannibal eats a vegetable? Throw away the wheelchair"

"Teacher : What's your favourite letter ? Student: The letter G. Teacher : Why is that Angus ?"

"An old lady in front of me dropped a $20 note, so I asked myself, ""what would Jesus do?"" So I turned it into wine. I bought wine."

"Our daughter ran away from home once when she was a teenager. We were frantic. Within months, we called the police to report her missing."

"Mike Tyson's biggest problem was he never had a strong male role model growing up. Mike's dad walked out on the family very early on, after Mike raped him."

"[Catwoman's Lair] Robin: I hear someone. Batman: Lets's hide in this sandpit. {5 min later} R: This is a litter box isn't it? B: I think so."

"Did you hear about the clever nun who got tricked? She was nun the wiser"

"I found out the other day my sister was arrested for bestiality Well, just call me a monkey's uncle.... Credit to Stewart Francis"

"ME: bartender. another. BARTENDER: but you just- ME: *slams fist on bar* ANOTHER [bartender reluctantly hands me another moist towelette]"