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Joke of the Day
"How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you can throw them"
Next Joke
"SOPA inspired joke: What has two eyes, two hands, two feet, and two noses Two Pirates"
"I'm no scientist, but I've long held the theory that monkeys are not as smart as humans because they don't have human brains."
"Your Momma is so stupid she put sand paper on the bottom of her wheelchair, talk'n bout she a ruff rider."
"Why did the blonde have bruises on her belly button? Blond guys aren't too smart either."
"I was going to write up a guide on how to reserve yourself a spot on the front page of Reddit... ...but it's really not my place to say!"
"How awesome would it be to come home & find Bruce Springsteen sitting on your toilet?"
"Am I the only one who calculates how many hours sleep I can get before I go to sleep?!"
"I keep trying to convince my grandmother to get a hearing aid... But she just won't listen"
"ME: i'm nervous WIFE: don't be. just be confident [later] BOSS: so do you think you'd be right for the job ME: *confidently* no"