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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into the bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The bartender says ""hey, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?"" the pirate responds ""ARGH! it drives me nuts!"""

"I find that the secret to not being insecure is to just be better than everybody at everything while being incredibly good looking."

"My Grandpa said, ""Your generation relies too much on technology!"" I replied, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then I unplugged his life support."

"In this holiday season I really gotta give a shout out to those who've always been around for me. Mr. Chen and his family at the restaurant."

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. Haha you are adopted. Credit to this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/3715bp/one_mans_trash_is_another_mans_treasure_would_be/"

"A joke that is mildly racist How.come there were only 1800 Mexicans at the Alamo? Because they only had two pickup trucks"

"Every time I go to get an HIV test, I'm convinced it's going to come back positive And every time, I'm right."

"6, holding a pic of me pregnant with him, ""Why are you SO FAT?"" Me, ""You're inside my tummy."" 6, ""That's DISGUSTING."" Me, ""It gets worse.."""

"Do you struggle with rational thinking and basic literacy? Let us know in the comments below"

"""The car that was driving slow in front of me turned, I better drive fast now so the cars behind me don't think It was my fault."" Everyone"