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Joke of the Day

"One way to find out if your crush likes you is: Who cares. People are horrible and it's better to be alone."

Next Joke
 
"me: it's too hot *opens window* *in comes 305430 flies, 43866 spiders, 91193 moths, a serial killer, a paedophile and a burglar* (HELP)"
"My friend Carlos got his car stolen. We just call him Los now."
"What is 7'' long, rock hard, and makes girls scream at it's sight? The sock under my bed."
"It would be terrifying if Elizabeth I were alive today... ... Because she's dead. Note: Credit goes to my dryly-sarcastic history professor."
"I was caught stalking David Cameron today I told the police that I was simply following the political movement."
"An electrician walks into intensive care and yells: Hold your breaths, I am about to start replacing circuit breakers'"
"It's kind of bullshit that humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want."
"Asian kid drinking alcohol under age Call that Jin-yung"
"What did one lesbian cannibal say to the other lesbian cannibal? Eat me out"