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Joke of the Day

"How many joules does it take to fry a Jew? Nein joules."

"I like my men like I like my chess players... They know how to make an opening."

"Any ideas for 'insults' that have no right answer? For example: did you get caught beating off in the corner? Love these types of jokes but can only think of a couple right now. Thanks!"

"What's the difference between an Ethiopian elevator sign and an British elevator sign? British sign says "" Maximum 6 People/500kg"" Ethiopian sign says ""Maximum 500 People/6kg"""

"What did the Leper say to the Prostitute? ""You can keep the tip."""

"I run and I run and I run and I run but I don't go anywhere. What am I? A third-party candidate in the U.S."

"If I know anything about girls, it's that they appreciate privacy. Trust me I've read a ton of diaries."

"[orders 2,000 Big Macs thinking I'll only have to tell my mom 'I love her' for them] Cashier: that'll be $5,364.32 Me: shit"

"Why did Chris Christie endorse Donald Trump? Christie wants the highest cabinet position possible because he knows - the higher cabinet is where they keep all the cookies!"

"Q: Why do you look out the window in the morning? A: Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway."